{"meta":{"id":"https:\/\/api.iclient.ifeng.com\/ipadtestdoc?aid=ucms_7wqiKu4UXK9","type":"doc","o":"1","documentId":"ucms_7wqiKu4UXK9"},"body":{"newStatus":"1","documentId":"ucms_7wqiKu4UXK9","staticId":"ucms_7wqiKu4UXK9","title":"十条段子:大姐,跟你说件事!","shareTitle":"十条段子:大姐,跟你说件事!","thumbnail":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/w150_h106_q100\/img1.ugc.ifeng.com\/newugc\/20200529\/8\/wemedia\/325d6fbc8233258af7e7cd7396d8b8bd94cefb70_size17_w400_h266.jpeg","source":"每天小情书","author":"","editorcode":"weMedia","editTime":"2020-05-29 08:36:03","updateTime":"2020\/05\/29 08:36:03","wapurl":"http:\/\/\/\/feng.ifeng.com\/c\/7wqiKu4UXK9","introduction":"","wwwurl":"http:\/\/\/\/feng.ifeng.com\/c\/7wqiKu4UXK9","commentsUrl":"ucms_7wqiKu4UXK9","commentCount":0,"text":"
1女朋友家里条件好,她爸爸看不上我,嫌弃我家里穷,自己又没本事,给我一顿难堪。从她家出来,我暗暗发誓,一定要努力!终于,经过三年的奋斗,我和她门当户对了。因为她爸破产了。<\/p>
2在一家网红包子铺排队,这时一位老大爷也来排队,看他步履蹒跚的样子,于心不忍就让出位置让他先买,没想到老大爷冲我摇摇手说道:小伙子,谢谢你!你买吧!我没事!我是他们请来排队的!排哪都一样!<\/p>
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3看了条裤子,布料挺好,纠结中,店员小姐姐说:喜欢就买啊,有什么犹豫的呢?可是它是个九分裤啊,我想要长裤子。小姐姐:你穿刚刚好,不信你试一试!这是在鄙视我,我要用事实打败你!试穿了下长度刚刚好。<\/p>
4儿子语文考了30多分,老婆抬手就要打儿子。儿子央求道:妈妈,迟一点再打可以吗?老婆停住手问:为什么?儿子说:下午数学成绩出来了一块打,省得疼两次。<\/p>
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5早上火车上,旁边坐着一哥们在啃猪蹄,我也想吃。于是我掏出几个核桃,微笑的问他要不要,他摇摇头。然后,他出于礼貌的掏出一个猪蹄问我:你要吃猪蹄吗?我一把抓过来说:谢谢你啊。<\/p>
6一日,一位老师想启发学生什么叫反哺,就举例问道:你们的父母现在花很多钱替你们矫正牙齿,将来父母亲老了,你花钱给父母镶假牙,这种情况叫什么?一学生答:以牙还牙。<\/p>
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7当代人的生活方式1.家里开饭:不吃了我减肥。朋友:出来吃烧烤。我:好的 2.家里喝酒:我不喝。朋友:出来喝酒。我:满上。3.立下豪言:不蹦迪了我养生。朋友:出来蹦迪。我:好的。<\/p>
8小时候爸妈一直说我是垃圾袋里面捡的,所以一直幻想着早晚有一天我的土豪父母会来接我,直到长大后和爸爸越长越像我的幻想才破灭有没有同样经历的小伙伴。<\/p>
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9女儿什么事都要找我说,有一天我冒火了,对着他吼,你能不能不要整天妈妈妈妈的叫我,叫得我心烦。她默默的走开了,过了一会儿,她又走过来说:大姐,跟你说件事。<\/p>
10儿子想要弟弟一直没有答应,最近儿子又提要弟弟的事,我说:我身体不太好可能不能要二胎了。儿子说:要不我换个妈妈给我生个弟弟,生完了再换回来你再给我当妈妈。<\/p>","img":[{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/60480582118DA0516FFF8A0B20FC864B506F98EA_size13_w400_h400.jpeg","size":{"width":"400","height":"400"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/75118DD40848733EB44F23C7F480D4D473D32361_size21_w400_h400.jpeg","size":{"width":"400","height":"400"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/8269C9DA3B4899B41ECDB0E6652BF7BED0960935_size17_w440_h440.jpeg","size":{"width":"440","height":"440"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/9C38AB296C200903F901A77B69705C3B5EB2D11E_size19_w400_h400.jpeg","size":{"width":"400","height":"400"}}],"summary":"1女朋友家里条件好,她爸爸看不上我,嫌弃我家里穷,自己又没本事,给我一顿难堪。从她家出来,我暗暗发誓,一定要努力!终于,经过三年的奋斗,我和她门当户对了。因为她","sharesummary":"1女朋友家里条件好,她爸爸看不上我,嫌弃我家里穷,自己又没本事,给我一顿难堪。从她家出来,我暗暗发誓,一定要努力!终于,经过三年的奋斗,我和她门当户对了。因为她","commentType":"0","wemediaEAccountId":"755585","showclient":"0","shareurl":"https:\/\/ishare.ifeng.com\/c\/s\/v0021Y1MAPMrM4ENEUc--ecAq5duqHViMa-_ax--JmDP9aWJtg__","praise":"0","like_num":"0"}}