{"meta":{"id":"https:\/\/api.iclient.ifeng.com\/ipadtestdoc?aid=ucms_7yWRvy4IdQT","type":"doc","o":"1","documentId":"ucms_7yWRvy4IdQT"},"body":{"newStatus":"1","documentId":"ucms_7yWRvy4IdQT","staticId":"ucms_7yWRvy4IdQT","title":"十条段子:特价的只有一斤,其他的是原价!","shareTitle":"十条段子:特价的只有一斤,其他的是原价!","thumbnail":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/w150_h106_q100\/img1.ugc.ifeng.com\/newugc\/20200730\/11\/wemedia\/fd729f4106e1e4681c2f701da5fb2b4e829f9765_size43_w640_h426.jpeg","source":"每天小情书","author":"","editorcode":"weMedia","editTime":"2020-07-30 11:34:54","updateTime":"2020\/07\/30 11:34:54","wapurl":"http:\/\/\/\/feng.ifeng.com\/c\/7yWRvy4IdQT","introduction":"","wwwurl":"http:\/\/\/\/feng.ifeng.com\/c\/7yWRvy4IdQT","commentsUrl":"ucms_7yWRvy4IdQT","commentCount":0,"text":"
1我三岁时住在一个农村中学校,妈妈是老师,话说我特别的调皮,有次搞了个惊心动魄的失踪,妈妈把全校老师发动去找我,一个白天没找到,最后在学校新建的厕所(还没人用过)里发现我安静的躺在男生的小便池里睡觉,而且脸朝下。<\/p>
2跟哥们经常去台球室打球,一天他媳妇来了,对着我们喊到:我看你们打球打得这么好,还天天来打,有意思吗?一席话,说得气氛有点尴尬,哥们也低头不语!我道:嫂子,你这么漂亮不也天天化妆吗!哎哟,嫂子瞬间高兴的走啦。<\/p>
<\/p>
3男人经常被胡子困扰,不刮吧难看,刮了就得天天刮,它们比头发长的太快了,我小时候刚长胡子的时候,我奶奶说:你看你爸天天刮胡子多麻烦,我给你出个主意,你一根一根往下拔,把毛囊拔出来就不长胡子了,我就信她的了,拔的下巴都肿了但是胡子还长。<\/p>
4我那精打细算的老公,有次七夕,早上刚睡醒老公就搂我说节日快乐!还说给我买朵花,心里正美着呢,就客气的说不用买了都老夫老妻的了,这货就说是啊!花太贵,还是我媳妇好啊。我的心啊碎了一地啊!<\/p>
<\/p>
5今天休息,去哥们小饭店里帮忙,进来一个鼻青脸肿的小伙子说:斜对面那家店生意是好,但是老板太凶了!把我打成这鸟样子!我一听急了:你先坐一会,刚才我让我哥们小王去他门口拉客源,得赶紧让他回来。那小伙子说:别去了,我就是你哥们小王!<\/p>
6早上醒来第一件事,打开手机,看着昨晚给你发的晚安到现在也没有回复,心里突然感觉暖暖的,嘴角勾起一抹微笑,你果然还是关心我的,怕我睡着了回我消息把我吵醒。<\/p>
<\/p>
7下地铁,人群里忽然出现四个白色衣服霸气的美女,正注目礼移动中,忽然乱入一个土拨鼠身影,正想吐槽谁家的也不拦着点,诶呦!土拨鼠怎么拧我耳朵了?!好疼,没想到媳妇儿这手还是这么准这么狠。<\/p>
8小时候家里只有一只电视,可稀罕了,也不懂什么是电视剧,只知道有电视看了,导致我看到电视里有人去世了,哭得死去活来,还想去参加葬礼,还想着年纪轻轻就没了真可惜,等我在另一频道看到复活的人,以为是双胞胎!次数多了,我就问我妈,为什么他们长得都一样!<\/p>
<\/p>
9对着风扇放了个屁,然后屁吹在了我的脸上顿时有一种掉进粪坑的感觉,不说了我去洗澡洗头洗脸全身洗香香了,主要是我的屁太臭了,我觉得我自己受到了污染。<\/p>
10路过一水果超市,上面写着西瓜原价1.5元一斤,特价一元一斤,我让老板给我称了半个瓜,老板说11斤16元。我疑惑的问老板,不是特价一块钱应该11吗?老板答,特价的只有一斤,其他的是原价!<\/p>","img":[{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/B12A972E39E593D5DD168E7C7DA37BA79252C2F9_size52_w640_h640.jpeg","size":{"width":"640","height":"640"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/728BBA66DFB719DAB9CA8000933EAA0278C253EE_size48_w640_h640.jpeg","size":{"width":"640","height":"640"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/B2EAF61432E14B08F80EB385B447C8ADCD3BFC2B_size47_w640_h640.jpeg","size":{"width":"640","height":"640"}},{"url":"http:\/\/d.ifengimg.com\/mw640_q100\/x0.ifengimg.com\/res\/2020\/359C5C15605827C980A0CA043DF2AC1DCD042019_size46_w640_h640.jpeg","size":{"width":"640","height":"640"}}],"summary":"1我三岁时住在一个农村中学校,妈妈是老师,话说我特别的调皮,有次搞了个惊心动魄的失踪,妈妈把全校老师发动去找我,一个白天没找到,最后在学校新建的厕所(还没人用过","sharesummary":"1我三岁时住在一个农村中学校,妈妈是老师,话说我特别的调皮,有次搞了个惊心动魄的失踪,妈妈把全校老师发动去找我,一个白天没找到,最后在学校新建的厕所(还没人用过","commentType":"0","wemediaEAccountId":"755585","showclient":"0","shareurl":"https:\/\/ishare.ifeng.com\/c\/s\/v002yV49lDZMcghuq3Csa73SVZt2E2PEJLnireX66TkFNsM__","praise":"1","like_num":"1"}}